Psychoanalytical Approach: The Lovely Bones and Lady Oracle

What if tomorrow never comes? Death is a part of life that no one can avoid. Some people fear death, others think nothing of it. Death is the new beginning. Since it is seen as the end, it gives a completely new meaning towards life. If people are immortal life has less value for them as time is always on their side. Time is no longer precious as it is limitless. However, death limits the time people have on Earth, thus, everything becomes more valuable. People will cherish everything and everyone around them. Death has the power to make people reevaluate their lives and at the same time their perceptions towards it reflects their own quality of life. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold and The Lady Oracle by Margaret Atwood both discuss about the real meaning of death from different views. People’s mind are influenced and sculpted by their surroundings and experiences thus the perception of death differs from one person to the other. People’s judgment towards death is heavily influenced by their faith, relationships, age and aspirations. Life itself shapes the perception of death.

Children and adults look at death differently. Children, who are less exposed to the things that are happening around world, live in their own beautiful and imaginary land. Since they are still innocent, they do not fully understand the concept of living and dying. To them, living is about happiness and laughter and death on the other hand is seen as the end of all the pleasures in the world. They do not understand how nor why people have to leave. Young kids have trouble grasping the concept of finality. Most thing in their experience, are, in fact cyclical (Roy, 223). Explaining why cats die or plants wilt is a lot easier than explaining the death of relatives or close friends. Their minds are still gullible and to them, everything stops when the person dies. In The Lovely Bones, Ray Singh who is only fourteen was troubled over Susie’s death. “It meant lost, it meant frozen, it meant gone” is said by Ray Singh which shows what death really means to him (126). Mr. Salmon also has hard time explaining death to Buckley, Susie’s four year old brother about Susie’s disappearance, as he believes that Buckley would not understand. In the Last Lecture, a note that is given to Randy states that “When a parent dies, at such an early age, some children thinks that other normal life cycle events may not happen for them, either”. However, adults have a different way of looking at death. They have seen the world and understand that death is a part of life. People come and go, and those who stays moves on. Regarding Susie’s death, her father believed that it is just meant to be when he said “Because that is how it is” (78). Although to some it may seem as the end, but the end, is not always bad. In Lady Oracle, Joan Foster, an author in her mid thirties, used death to start anew. “I pretended to die so I could live, so I could have another life,” said Foster who forged her own death and moved to Europe to pursue her dream life (315). Not satisfied with what she had, she wanted to change everything and stop living the life of Joan Foster. In a way, adults who had to deal with the harsh reality of life may think that death is something that they need. Ending their lives could be a great way to escape the actuality of life. With time, experiences matures an individual and with maturity perception changes.

Faith plays a huge role in shaping someone’s idea about life and death. Life could be straight forward yet death is a mystery. People fear the unknown. No one who has encountered death can tell their experience as it is irreversible (Aden). Death is faced alone. However, those who believe in the afterlife or reincarnation might find some comfort in death. Those who have faith, believes that death is one of the ways to meet their Creator. They will accept death with grace and solace for the heavens and a new life waits. Apart from that, those who stay are filled with less grief and are able to let the dead rest in p. In the Lovely Bones, the idea of a beautiful heaven is highlighted to show the beauty part of death. This can be seen when Susie said, “I would like to tell you that it is beautiful here, that I am, and you will one day be, forever safe. But this heaven is not about safety just as, in its graciousness, it isn’t about gritty reality”. The idea of a safe voyage through the unknown can bring peace to those who are still alive and waiting for their own journey to end. Lindsey, Susie’s sister said “I think Susie watches me” which shows the comfort a family member could feel after losing their beloved (66) .On the other hand, those who are less religious are usually skeptical over the idea of death and the afterlife. They hold on to nothing except themselves, the present and the past, but never the future. They live for the present and what happens after death is a grey area for them. In a way, they could not care less of what happen later on, but on the other hand focuses on what is happening in front of them right there and then. Joan Foster who was not brought up in a religious family often wanders of spiritual practices and beliefs that people hold strongly to although they have no exact proofs for what they practice. She said, “If the Other Side was so wonderful, why did the spirits devote most of their messages to warnings?” after attending a mass where the priest is said to have conversations and visions sent by the dead. Since they believe that live ends with death, there is nothing for them to neither anticipate nor fear. To them, death is the end of the road anything goes beyond that point. Faith affects the way people understand the concept of death. The believers may find some comfort regarding death according to their practices and beliefs, yet, the non- believers who accepts life the way it is, view death as insignificant.

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Relationships and connections with other living beings influence the way people judge their own lives and how they end it. Those who are socially healthy are more optimistic and appreciate life even more. Since they have someone to hold on to, letting go would be a lot harder. Close knits between spouses or family members; create a sense of contention in life. Being contended with the lives that they lead, a change would definitely affect them greatly. Death, which will take one of them away forever, will alter their lives and it will never be the same again. The Salmons from the Lovely Bones were a happy family before the death of Susie. Her father became too obsessed with her death and her mom who could not take it, left her family behind. On the other hand, Susie who is staying in her heaven has a hard time letting them go as well as she said “One of the blessings of my heaven is that I can go back to these moments, live them again and be with my mother in a way I never could have been” (170). Live is indeed more meaningful when there is someone to share it with. Death of a loved one will leave a hole or a gap in the other’s lives. In Emily Bronte’s Remembrance a Poem about a dead lover, she said “Once drinking deep of that divinest anguish/How could I seek the empty world again?” which shows how hard it was for her to lose someone that she deeply cares about (Bronte, 32). However, people who are not loved are often dissatisfied with life. They tend to be selfish and self- centered without taking others around them into consideration. They have long lived their own lives by themselves and they do not know the real meaning of loving and living. Joan Foster was never loved by her parents. Even if they did, they never showed it. In fact, their attitude towards her is cold and distant. Joan said, “I kept waiting for him to give me some advices, warn me, instruct me, but he never did any of these things” which shows kind of relationship she had with her father (77). Her mother on the other hand was said to be “a monster” as she never shows any affections towards Joan (67). Leaving a loveless family or a relationship is a lot easier as their existence would not affect anyone that much. “He loved me under false pretenses, so I shouldn’t feel too rejected when he stops” said Joan about her husband after she ‘died’. She believed that no one will miss her after she is gone, thus choosing to die is not a hard decision for her. Love and relationship is vital to make a person appreciate their lives and in return, it plays a huge role in shaping their readiness of their final voyage.

Aspirations motive people to live life to the fullest and time will be more precious than gold. Everyone has goals and wants in life that drives them to go forward. What makes people different is their attitude towards it. People who are optimistic will look at the bright side of everything while a pessimist will find faults and fears everything. In the subject of death, their attitude contributes to their views towards the whole idea of leaving the Earth. Knowing that time is limited, an optimist will savor the time left and appreciate things that she will no longer have. Death is a reminder for them to live their lives to the fullest or accept fate as it is. Although Susie is already dead, but she learns how to let go of things that she knows she can never have. She accepts her death and wants everyone to move on. In the end, she said, “She would feel me and think of me. I could see that, but there was no longer anything I could do” (365). Susie believes that her death should not stop anyone from continue living as she has to move on as well. In his book, Pausch who had only a few months to live said “I’m dying and I’m having fun. And I’m going to keep having fun every day I have left. Because there’s no other way to play it” (179). Pausch is an optimist who wants people to remember how much he loved life and he accepts death gracefully and wants people to accepts his like he does. However, Joan who is depressed throughout her whole life, are always afraid of moving on or making her own decisions. She always let everyone take control of her and later blames herself for it. She is determined to end her current life and move on, yet she is still in a dilemma as she said “But what if the present was a washout and the life to come was a bog?” (309). She is still not satisfied with her new life as she said “Where was the new life I’d intended to step into, easily as crossing a river?” (310). Someone who looks negatively at life will in return look negatively at death as well. Instead of cherishing the precious moments left, they tend to complain about the bad sides of life instead of focusing on the bright aspects of it.

Death happens only once. Time can never be turned around and people have to accept that, the time will come. However, how we embrace the reality of death differs. The choices people made and how people lead their lives will contribute to their understanding of death. People breathe everyday and do all sort of time wasting activities without knowing when their last breath is coming. People go to great extents to understand the real meaning of life yet not knowing the meaning of death. To live life to the fullest, people have to live like they are dying. People with different faiths believe differently about what comes afterwards. Death could be a new beginning or just the ending to a beautiful life. Connections between human beings can make death either the hardest or easiest task. Apart from that, different ages comes with different level of understanding towards life as well as death. People’s aspirations and attitude will also portray the way they look at idea of mortality.