The difficulties and needs of adult attachment

It is in human nature for people to want attachments. As humans, we are readily classified as a very social species. Humans need attachments to grow and explore the world around them with a sense of security. As research continues on, psychologists are becoming convinced that attachments begin during infancy and how the attachment is observed during infancy it could be used to describe the success or problems of their attachments as adults as well as predicting possible dysfunctions.

Basic Foundation of Attachment

Before any research could be accomplished, one must understand the definition or the basic foundation of attachments whether it would be between mother-infant or adult-adult attachment. In response to this, John Bowlby created his Attachment Theory. Attachment Theory quickly summarized, is a process that regulates an infant or adults ability to seek contact and behave in a manner that and provides physical or psychological safety or security (Berman & Sperling 1994). Attachment behaviors are always felt or observed around specific figures. All with the main goal of feeling secure. In all essence, attachment is described as having a feeling of psychological/physical safety or security with specific attachment figure.

Attachments Begin During Infancy

A classic experiment to measure and observe attachment was Ainsworth’s Strange-Situation experiment. This experiment consisted of an infant being placed in a “strange area” with their mother, and at one point the mother would get up and leave the infant alone. The infant’s reaction to the mother leaving was observed and recorded. Using this experiment Ainsworth was able to identify and characterize different attachment behaviors which include: the “secure” style, the “avoidant” style, and the “anxious/ambivalent” style. According to Ainsworth’s experiment the “secure” style was the most common. The “secure” style was observed as a child showing signs of distress when the infant was left alone or with a stranger; and once the mother returned the child held her for a bit and returned to explore the strange room and play. On the other hand, the “avoidant” style was described as having distress during the separation and ignoring the mother once she returned. Similarly to the “avoidant” style was the “anxious/ambivalent” style. The “anxious/ambivalent” style follows the “avoidant” style except when the mother reappears. The infant showed mixed feelings; he/she would approach but then ignore the mother. (Berman & Sperling 1994)

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The purposes of the observations were to attempt to understand the type of personality as well as attachments as the infants grew older. In which case the findings were as follows: The secure children were able to socialize well with others. They in school were the children with the most friends, those who were not necessarily the center of attention but handled situations well; the avoidant children were seen to be anxious more often, as well as angry or showing fear. They longed for attention whether it was positive or negative attention. These would be characterized as the potential bullies at school or the “class clowns”. Lastly, the anxious/ambivalent children were very clingy; they feared their environment and were emotionally vulnerable to anything. (Berman & Sperling 1994)

Understanding the Adult Attachment

All adults will have some type of relationship intimate or not. Some adults may even have more than one attachment throughout their lives. Although knowing the basic definition of attachment does not completely constitute for the specificity of an adult attachment. Although the psychologists still play with the words for the direct definition, psychologists have a common base for defining an adult attachment. Their definition states that an adult attachment is the stable tendency of a person to make many efforts to seek and even maintain contact with one of specific people who have provided either/both psychological/physical security and safety (Berman & Sperling 1994).

Causes and Effects of Adult attachments

All attachment defines is a behavior. Adult attachment is merely the feeling of security of even just the potential of security rather than actual security itself. Many adults experience relationships or attachments that seem to be based off of anger and anxiety. People find it confusing when they see others in this type of attachment and why, if even, they continue the cycle. The cause of the anger and anxiety is traced back to the infancy stage. Most of the people who have shown this type of relationship have been previously categorized as the “avoidant” style or even the “anxious/ambivalent” style. Which inevitably and is obviously shown with the anger and anxiety shown towards their partner as an adult. The fear and distress of the imagined separation brings anger and more anxiety. The effect on the other partner is variable. Some leave, however, some stay for the belief that although they do not show them security presently they believe that they have to potential of giving them security in the future (Berman & Sperling 1994).

The majority of the problems within adult attachments have a common base of fear of rejection. In many instances from viewing the type of infancy attachments psychologist can predict how or why people responded the way they do within their adult attachments (Priel & Besser 2009). Many of the individuals who grew up as the “avoidant” or “anxious/ambivalent” label ended with having lower self-esteem as well as feelings of insecurity of themselves and for others. Also, studies have readily shown that those with insecurities or “avoidant” style have been prone to dysfunctional attitudes. On the other hand, those who were labeled as “secure” attachment have shown a sense of security within themselves that, in case of an imagined rejection they would respond and react in a more positive view. This is due because of the “secure” attachments show that they have emotional resiliency as opposed to the other attachment styles.

Problems With Emotional Responses And Possible Dysfunctional Attitudes

Psychologists believe that due to the infancy observation of attachment it would lay out a prototype or a basis for the adult attachments. This logically implies that if they are avoidant style or anxious/ambivalent style, these individuals are predisposed to the possible dysfunctions of relationships. According to Bartholomew’s studies (1990) he states that satisfying intimate relationships are most important to the individuals in order to be/feel happiness and in a sense give meaning to their lives. Many people have heard the phrase that people are “afraid of commitment”. What people may not connect together is that fear may be traced back all the way back to when the individual was an infant (Bartholomew 1990). Bartholomew looked back at the Strange Situation experiment and found that infants do not have the choice to bond with their caregivers. The infants than to bond with their attachment figure regardless, however, as adults they have control over the strength of the bond “feeling” to others. In this case the response of having “avoidance” style or “anxious/ambivalent” style ends with two possible avoidance adult attachments, these consist of the individuals who want a close relationship but end up avoiding them due to fear, and the individuals who claim they do not want or fear attachments. Many of these individuals not only had an “avoidant” attachments style but the majority also experienced separation with their primary attachment figure/mother/father/guardian during their childhood (between elementary to junior high stages). Even though some of the children were able to be reunited with their attachment figures they showed signs of avoidance to their attachment figures. Some children had even displayed angers and anxiety towards their caregivers (Bartholomew 1990).

It has been found that many “avoidant” style attachments have been associated with dysfunctional attitudes that could potentially induce low self-esteem levels which could possibly increase the chances of developing depressions symptoms (Anderson & Perris 2000).

Conclusion

The findings of the psychologists strongly explain that there is a strong link between how infants’ attachment styles reflect their attachments as adults. As explained in the preceding paragraphs, the connection between the ‘avoidant” style and “anxious/ambivalent” style could bring problems within the relationship such as anger and anxiety in the adult attachments as well as predisposing the individuals to depression or dysfunctional attitudes.