Shamus Khan's Concepts of Gender and Sexuality

In chapter four of Privileged, Shamus Khan writes about the young women at St. Paul’s being taught to “perform gender” (Kahn, 2013). The idea behind performing gender for the young women at St. Paul was the necessity to appear feminine. This concept is not very uncommon outside of St. Paul’s learning institution; many individuals dress, speak, and present themselves in a way to show their gender identity as well as their sexual preference. At this specific institution, many of the girls developed a way to use their sexuality as a gift and in some cases, they thought of it as power. Since these girls attended St. Paul they might have felt as though it was necessary to appeal to the young men so that they can more feel comfortable at the school. In a sense, many of the young women at the school attempted to exploit their own sexuality for gain. The main concept behind the young women using their sexuality was the ability to maintain a sense of ease so this was a way of them embracing their femininity. However, the teachings and idea of embracing femininity can be modified in a way so that the young women are not just limited to embrace being feminine to be at ease at St. Paul. It should be taught that the young women should be able to be comfortable expressing their sexuality by being feminine, masculine or both at St. Paul and continue to go to the school with an ease and not feel mistreated in any way based of their display of sexuality.

There is no doubt that many of the young women at St. Paul were very intellectual individuals. It was very clear from the chapter that the young women at the school needed to work harder for them to be successful at the school. That did not dismiss the fact that they still needed to act as though the success that they received at the school came with ease. Khan gave an example in the chapter of Mary who was a very hard worker and was successful because of it; however, she was still viewed differently from her peers at the school. This was because “she succeeded, but did so without ease” (Khan, 2013). This concept of ease was to be upheld from all students at the school, but as we can see from this chapter it was more difficult from the young women at the school to maintain the appearance of ease. So, although they were intellectual they still had the need to endorse their sexuality and show their femininity as well as appeal to the men for them to feel as though they secured a certain amount of ease at St. Paul.

In this chapter embracing their sexuality is very important to the young women at St. Paul, it is shown when Kahn described these girls going to seated meals dressed in their formal clothing. Although St. Paul has the “no bare shoulders” seated meal rule the girls found ways around these rules by making up excuses about the necessity to wear the dressed because they could not have changed fast enough to make it to eat their meals on time among many other excuses (Kahn, 2013). In a way, that one way that they embraced their sexuality, we can often see this is social institutions outside of St. Paul. As a woman if you are going on a date with a man you are expected to look a certain way to appeal to the man’s sexually. For a woman, this also occurs when you are going to an interview, if you ever take a workshop on how to have a successful interview they usually recommend women wear a skirt and a blouse with low heels. Woman dressing up to show their sexuality is not very uncommon today and throughout history, it is one of the ways that women perform gender.

At St. Paul, many of the girls had to teach and figure out their sexuality from other girls that had attended the school longer or by themselves. This was apparent when the younger girls where taught by older and more experienced girls how to use their sexuality to appeal to the young men at the school. The young girls were given pointers about how to go about their sexual exploits. “Before they spend too much time with any boy, new girls are told, they should talk to the seniors in the dorm to learn his reputation” (Kahn, 2013). Essentially, they are setting up the younger girls so that they can also know how to technically exploit their own sexuality. At St. Paul, the young women are essentially expected to give out signals to appeal to the young man to show that you are interested. This can be shown through performing you gender, dressing up in certain clothes, the way you speak and act to displays these sexual preferences.

The idea of “performing gender” for young women at St. Paul was to appear feminine. That is what St. Paul taught if you were a young woman at the school then you needed to make sure that you acted and presented yourself in a feminine manner. Either you were feminine or masculine at St. Paul and if you were a young woman that did not perform your gender in accordance with a feminine way you were teased and talked about in negative ways. Khan mentions this when talking about Lynn, a young woman who was in a relationship with another girl at the school. Lynn dressed in baggy clothes and a St. Paul’s sweatshirt. That was considered wrong not because of her sexual preference but because of the way that she performed her gender it was interpreted as not in a feminine way. This concept can be modified to appeal to the sense that if the young women that are attempting to establish their sexuality want to perform their gender to the fullest they should be able to do so without the limitations that St. Paul attempts to build upon.  If Lynn feels more comfortable wearing baggy clothes and not dressing up or “conforming” to dress in a feminine manner than she should not be teased or treated differently because of that.

St. Paul needs to modify the idea that if you are female you need to present yourself in a feminine way and if you are a man then you need to present yourself in a masculine way. The reality is that the students are attempting to find their own sexuality, and this cannot be fully achieved if they are limited through dress, speech, and actions. St. Paul has attempted to uphold old and outdated ideas on sexuality and performing gender. In the past women were expected to dress and act feminine no matter what their sexuality because society has closed ideals on family and upheld the patriarchal family. Although it took a while women are free to express their sexuality and dress and act in a way that feel. Even in workplace settings, an individual who identifies as female can dress in a “masculine” way and be working a high paying job. Over time too many women have fought to be themselves in society without being denied or mistreated from others. Many young women outside of St. Paul are struggling with feeling comfortable in their own sexuality and expressing that the way they would like. If those girls are struggling outside of St. Paul imagine the girls that would love to express themselves in a non-feminine manner but are pressed to present themselves in a feminine way for them to be comfortable in school.

In chapter four it is very clear that St. Paul is upholding the barrier that the young women need to appear feminine regardless of their way of expressing their sexuality. That barrier needs to be broken down, because when female students graduate St. Paul, they are left in a state confusion towards their sexuality; because they feel as though they cannot dress, speak, and act in a way that does not reflect feminism. If the young women are encouraged to embrace their sexuality, but are limited to expressing that only through a feminine aspect it is a contradictory concept. Although I completely agree with the idea that the young women need to find a way to embrace their sexuality, because it helps shape your identity. Many of the girls at St. Paul probably felt that they would love to dress like Lynn because it would feel comfortable for them but they were afraid of being in the same uncomfortable position and the lack of ease that came with not presenting yourself in a feminine manner. I still feel as though if the young women are encouraged to discover and embrace their sexuality, then they should not be limited to that embracement of sexuality expressed in a strictly feminine manner. If St. Paul can adjust to the concept that young women need to be able to discover and embrace their sexuality in a way that allows them to be feminine, masculine or both than many of the women would feel more comfortable and at ease.

Bibliography

Khan, Shamus R. 2013. Privilege: The Making of an Adolescent Elite at St. Paul’s School.

Princeton University Press.