The role of the mother in Islam
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ROLE OF THE MOTHER IN ISLAM
TABLE OF CONTENT
Role of the mothers in Islam
- Respect in the world
- Holy Quran about mothers
Qualities of the mothers
- Love for her children
- Sacrifice and dedication
- Protection and security
Role of the mothers during Life
- A window of the child to the world
- Model for the child
Strength of the mother
- Awareness of responsibility
- Setting Goals
- Encourage children according to their potential
I learnt a lot during the research on the ‘Role of the Mothers in Islam’. There were many new things which I had grasped during my thesis. Most importantly, I tried to understand what does Islam think and say about the mothers. I hope my research proves to be the productive and helpful for those who want to be taught about the ‘Role of the mother in Islam’.
As we know that, Islam has empowered woman more than any other religion and they have more rights than any man. A woman has a very key and important role when she becomes a mother. Since the mothers have a very valued and dignified role in Islam. Their contribution is acknowledged and applauded. Once a man asked Prophet (PBUH) about the status of mother, Muhammad (SAW) replied,
“Paradise lies beneath the feet of mothers.”
In other words, gates of heaven are open for those who cherish and respect their mothers.
ROLE OF THE MOTHERS IN ISLAM
- Respect in the world:
A mother has a great respect in her entire family. She is to be obeyed. There are many verses of the Holy Quran which talks about the rights of the mother. However, the Holy Prophet (PBUH) has enjoined goodness to the mother. A man came for the advice to Prophet (SAW) as to who should be treated well. The Prophet (PBUH) advised him to be good with mother. Three times the man asked, and three times Prophet (PBUH) told him to do good to his mother. At the fourth time, the Prophet (PBUH) told him to do good to his father. This illustrates the position of the mother in Islam. Allah’s messenger (SAW) says,
“It is one of the greatest sins that a man should curse his parents.”
- Holy Quran about mothers:
Allah has only discussed about the two mothers in the Holy Quran by name; Bibi Maryam, mother of Hazrat Isa (A.S) and mother of Prophet Musa (A.S).
Holy Quran mentions the incident of Hazrat Maryam after the birth of Isa (A.S) when people started labeling her with the bad words. At a point, she wished to be dead. But Allah consoled her and told her not to grieve. Then she was given the dates and water. However, she was also ordered to take fast of not speaking for the three consecutive days. After three days, baby started speaking and it proved that Hazrat Isa (A.S) was a miraculous baby.(19:23-26)
The other incident is related to Hazrat Musa’s mother who was forced to put her child in the river but was simultaneously assured that the baby will be returned. Allah knew the love of mother for the child. The baby was picked up by Firwan’s wife from river, but baby refused to suck the milk of foster mother. So Hazrat Musa’s sister suggested to try her mother, this united the child and mother back. (Surah Taha 37-40 and Surah Qasas 7-13)
Following are the verses of the Holy Quran about the parents (mother).
Treat your parents with great kindness;if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them;nor rebuke them;but speak to them kind words.Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord,be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.” (Surah Bani Israel 23-24)
QUALITIES OF THE MOTHERS
- Love for her children:
The love of the mother towards the child is unmatchable. Whether the child is obedient or troublemaker, old or young, healthy or ill, the love remains the same for her child. A mother shows her love in different forms, sometimes she also scolds her child just because she cares and doesn’t want the child to be involved in any chaotic activity. However, that is why the children feel good at home because of their mother. Holy Quran says,
“Worship God and join not any partners with Him; and be kind to your parents.”
In other words, we must not treat our parents harshly even if they beat or scold us. Many of the children put their pleasure above mother’s happiness. This is what she gets after bearing so much pain and sacrifice
- Sacrifice and dedication:
Sacrifices of the mother for the child are unmatchable in the world; she gives up her sleep as well just to make her child all right. A good mother places the needs of the child, both physical and emotional needs. There is no other relation other than mother who gives away all her peace just to make her child in peace. This is the reason why Islam has ordered woman to stay home, to look after their children but nowadays usually women are busy in making their own career instead of looking after their child which should be her first priority.
The Quran says,
"And We have enjoined on man [to be good] to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and his weaning was over two years. Be thankful to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination." [Noble Quran 31:14]
However Shaykh Abdur Rahman As-Sa’ad views on the verse is following:
Be kind to your parents, shower love, affection and piety, both in words and deeds, treat them softly and never harm them verbally or physically. Then, Allah explains why we should treat our parents nicely. He says, the mother bore constant suffering, pain and hardship from the first moments she felt the child moving in her womb to the worst pangs during the time of delivery. And the weaning of two years, that is, during these two years the mother breast-feeds her child and looks after him/her. So after all the years of suffering, hardship, love and care, could we not, at least, compensate our mothers for what they have done for us and pay them back their rights.
- Protection and Security:
A mother always tries to safeguard her child in every difficulty. However, few mothers are over-protective for their child which is not good. Because of it, children face too many problems in their practical life when they have to deal it alone. Pampered children are unaware of many realities of the world. Many children get fed up of their parent over-protection, yet they must not misbehave since Allah’s messenger (SAW) says,
"Shall I inform you of the biggest of the Great Sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger (saws)!" He (saws) said, "To join partners in worship with Allah,and to be undutiful to one's parents." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)
THE ROLE OF THE MOTHERS DURING LIFE
- The window of the child to the world:
When a baby is born, he is not unaware of the outside world. The mother plays a key role in introducing him to the world. The child life totally depends on the mother. His views, his behavior – religion or other – and his goals and mission. Later the views changes after he becomes mature, but what he has learnt in the beginning will always have a lasting impression on his mind.
A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet (PBUH) said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim)
In this hadith Prophet (SAW) has clearly mentioned the importance of mother more than the father by repeating ‘your mother’ thrice.
- Model for the Child:
Since a mother play key role in upbringing of the child, so she is greatly esteemed. Her habits, behavior, lifestyle and whatever a child observes from her will have an impact. There’s a famous quote, ‘A mother is better than hundreds of teacher’. This means, mothers have a strong control on their child. Therefore, mothers have an important responsibility on their shoulders to set an example for their child. Sometimes it becomes difficult for the mothers. However, it is not perfection which Islam demands but a willingness to accept the responsibility for gesturing good behavior. Most importantly, a man will be picked up from his/her mother name on the Resurrection Day. A Grand Mufti of Pakistan, Shaykh Muhammad Shafy wrote,
“Mothers have more rights than father.”
STRENGTH OF THE MOTHER
- Awareness of Responsibility:
Motherhood is the most difficult job. A mother has to look into different techniques and strategy for parenting. There are nowadays many Islamic magazines in which articles are published related to the upbringing of the children. Mothers must read it to increase the awareness. This surely helps in dealing a child from different tactics.
"Command your children to make salah (prayer)when they become seven years old, and spank them for it (salah) when they become ten years old, and arrange their beds (to sleep) separately."(Abu Dawud)
However it is the responsibility of the mother to make the child punctual towards prayer and make him habitual to it.
- Setting Goals:
A mother should know what she expects from her child and then explain that to them. The children must know what is expected from them. For example, if a mother ask a child to lay the table. And the child does not do because of laziness, it means the mother has not asked him in a proper way because the children do the way they feel better. At end, child is blamed for either doing it wrong or not doing it. Similarly goes in the academic, mother must explain what she wants her child to be.
- Encourage children according to their potential:
Every child is skilled in different professions. Allah has given children the ability to show the achievements. Holy Prophet (PBUH) says,
“Human beings are like mines of gold and silver.”
Many of the mothers compare their child with another one, which is simply wrong. As I mentioned above every children has the ability to hold great achievement. This act of mother takes many children towards depression, and they get tensed. Instead of it, mothers must rectify their weaknesses and develop the skills in which the child is good.
In my research, I tried to explain about how much Islam respects the relation of a mother and what are role of the mothers in upbringing of the child. The mothers have the capability to either give a better future to the child or to damage it. So if we sum up the whole topic we understand, the mothers are the guardian of the whole family at home. However, it is utmost duty of every child to respect their mothers. Since it is the hadith of Allah’s messenger (SAW),
“Be kind with your mother.”
Therefore, a person will not enter a paradise if he/she scorns the parents (mother).
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