Do you ever wonder why you cant get it right when look at people who seem happy. Why is it that some people are capable of living life having fun while many others struggle to live through the day? What is it that makes successful happy people click? What is the secret to their happiness? Well, I will tell you exactly what the secret is in this report.
You can read many books, pay for countless self-improvement programs or take the advice of well established Gurus who claim to have the secret recipe for happiness in their bags and are willing to give it you, of course, for a small fortune. Then why is it that I am claiming to reveal the secret to you in this report. That is because the secret to happiness is no secret at all. It is in fact known by millions of people.
Then, you may ask, Why dont I see happy people everywhere? Glad you asked. Most people are in the pursuit for the secret that gives them the generalized definition of happiness so that they can point out what it is.
My happiness is not your happiness
Let us go to the basics. What is happiness? What does it mean to be happy? Does it mean you should have the job, the spouse, the house and the beautiful family you desire? Or does it mean you should be living adventurously traveling all around the world? Or does it mean you be filthy rich being able to do what you want whenever you want to do it? Or does it mean you stand on the top of the highest mountain and shout at the top of your voice?
Why do we have these many questions? Have you ever wondered if pursuit to happiness should be this complicated and confusing? Isnt there a simple solution? Yes, of course there is. But the answers to the questions are complicated because there is no one definition for happiness. Being happy means a different thing to different people. Some people are just happy if they get to survive everyday. Some people are unhappy even after having every luxury in the world. Attaining happiness is elusive because people fail to grasp what makes the secret work in their lives.
Many people live in the rut of thinking that they should be like someone they admire or have a particular object a co-worker has or do what others have done to be happy. This kind of thinking keeps them forever pursuing external objects that fall into the vague general definition of happiness and disappointment ensues once they realize they cannot have the object they desire or when they find out that possession of the desired object didnt really bring the happiness they expected. This propels them to pursue even more objects hunting that they perceive as the solution to their misery. This is a dangerous cycle to fall into and unfortunately millions of people unconsciously fall prey to this cycle and live in the rut for many years and sometimes even their whole lives.
What you need is not a definition but a key that will hand happiness to you. A key is the difference between knowing there is a treasure behind a door and actually being able to open the door and access the treasure. You can simply know a door (a definition) to happiness without having clue what is behind it or not knowing how to unlock it to become privy to its power. The key, then, is your answer to being completely and irrevocably happy.
So, what is this key to unlock the happiness secret? YOU.
That does not make sense. Does it? If you are the key to unlock your happiness, then why are you unhappy? That is because you are chasing things in your outer reality when you should be venturing into your inner reality. You can attain true happiness when you know and can control your inner reality. When your inner reality is in harmony with your conscious actions, you will notice that your outer reality becomes harmonious, effortless and joyful.
When there is discord between your mind and spirit, you can feel unhappy. To not experience this feeling, your mind tells you to get busy pursuing an object that it thinks is going to make you happy. Let us consider the example of addiction to alcohol (addiction to many things such as shopping, lying, drugs, excessive eating, and sex is possible). People who become addicted to alcohol perceive it as a substance that is going to make them feel better and for the time it will because it can numb the mental pain that arises because of the discord in the mental reality. But after the effects of alcohol wear off, the person is back to feeling unhappy again. This causes the person to revert back to consuming alcohol again. Because of this mental addiction to alcohol (the perceived object, which is supposed to make the person feel better), the person keeps on drinking alcohol whenever the same feeling of unhappiness arise in the mind. Over time, physical addiction to alcohol ensues. Although for temporary purposes, alcohol does work, eventually its negative effects such as physical addiction, deterioration of health, persistence of unhappy feelings and even in some cases extreme depression outwear its momentary benefits.
True happiness comes with working with your inner reality and making it harmoniums. How does one know their inner reality? Well, your inner reality is always evident to you as your state of mind, which is the sum of your current thoughts. When your thoughts are negative, your state of mind is also negative, which can cause you to experience unhappiness. Negative thoughts in turn arise when there is discord between the desires of your mind and soul, beliefs and perceived outer reality.
When the honest desires of your soul are in accordance with the beliefs of your mind and actions, then you will experience an innate joy of living. This happiness is very hard to put into words. It brings you closer to your goals, dreams and aspirations. It induces more life and energy into you, which will make you want to live life with vigor. But what are these honest desires that can make you happy? Answer to this critical question can be provided to you by only you. Hence, YOU are the key to your happiness. Only you can know and exercise control on your thoughts, know your honest desires, rectify the discord in your inner reality and attain that true happiness of being. In this state of being, you would not want to pursue any object to make yourself happy. You will pursue objects because you are happy just the way you are in the moment.
When you are in a state of disharmony, it is often very hard to reach into the depths of your soul to know what it is that will make you truly happy. No one expects you to have all the answers by a specified date. Taking life step by step and making a conscious effort to live life proactively can help you let go of frustrating dishonest and negative thoughts and slowly connect you with your inner self. Make yourself a promise to get moving and write down a list of things to do to make your life interesting. The list can include all the things you wanted to do that you never got around to doing, places you want to visit, people you want to meet, new foods you want to taste and slights you want to see. Make it your goal to enjoy spending time with yourself even when you are performing mundane actions. Here are few suggestions that can jump start your imagination:
1. Travel cross country on a bike. It is amazing how thrilling and adventurous it is to travel with very little planning. You can earn lodging for cheap at houses on the way. There are people who provide lodging for travelers for a day and they can even provide food in exchange for providing services like cleaning or cooking.
2. Travel to a different part of the world. This takes a little planning, but it can be very exciting and satisfying.
3. Go to a your favorite restaurant alone and enjoy your favorite meal
4. Get a completely new stylish hair cut, which you swore you cant pull off.
5. Climb a mountain and experience the tranquility of being away from the frenetic activity of the rest of the world
6. Tell a person I love you
7. Bungee jump from the highest peak and experience excitement that comes from liberation from fear.
8. Swim with dolphins
9. Get a pet. Caring for another living being educates the mind to love.
10. Go back to university and take a subject that you always wanted to study.
These are but a few things you can do. Get your creative mind churning and think of all the things that make you excited. Note them down and in the coming days, consciously try to execute them. By concentrating on fulfilling the things that make you inspired, you will start to see life as much more inviting and interesting. Happiness comes from looking at life differently. It comes down to your ability to imagine and fill your day with the things you want to do and experience rather than spend time trying to avoid the things you dont want. Spare yourself the unnecessary trouble of worrying. The secret is to focus your energy on things you want, instead of things you dont want or things that make you worry.
Have you ever observed a child? How happy and carefree a child can be. Children have no care in the world. They enjoy each and every second of their day. They smile, cry, fight, yell, play honestly without worrying. Sometimes, a child can teach us a lot about being happy. More than any other lesson, a child can teach us to live life with simplicity and honest curiosity.
We, as adults, make our lives complicated by our complicated thinking. We care too much about other people. We worry too much about unnecessary things. We try too much to control things, circumstances, other people and our emotions. We feel too guilty for every little thing we do or dont do. We indulge in irrational fears that produce the feelings of inadequacies. We feel too bad about our perceived limitations. This routine habit of indulgence in negativity causes us to miss out on see the beauty and thrill of living.
The secret to true happiness is cultivation of positive habits
Our habits make us who we are. Hence, it is vital to cultivate positive habits that will help us experience life in a positive way. Make these following habits a part of your life and see how they transform you from being a victim to being conscious creator of your life.
Surround yourself with Humor
One of the best habits you can cultivate is humor. Humor is what I call a fail safe key to happiness. When everything else seems dull and blue, humor can come to your rescue because it reminds us not to take life too seriously. Humor helps us to accept ourselves in the moment as we are and teaches us to love even our faults. Many people live in the fear of failure or fear of acknowledging their faults. But by choosing to not let these fears run your life, you consciously exercise power to make necessary changes to improve. Just think about it. So next time when your feeling down, watch your favorite comedy show or tell some silly jokes and laugh your negative thoughts away.
Persist Persist Persist!
The habit of persistence differentiates the winners from the strugglers is an understatement. Persistence will teach us to continuously love ourselves enough to take necessary action constantly towards achieving what we want. Do you see a child giving up learning to ride a bicycle after falling a dozen times? Do you see a child express feelings of inadequacy just because he failed in a test? Take the childs approach for you are learning to create a happy life just like the child learning to ride. Show childlike enthusiasm in achieving the things you honestly desire.
People are all that matters
It is easy to hold on to a grudge, jealousy and anger than it is to forgive. But when you make the habit of understanding that other people that are just like you trying their best to live happily, you can learn to slowly forgive the people who have done wrong by you. Often silly resentments are the reason why families break apart. If we can cultivate the habit of looking beyond the negativity and learning to accept the people that are the most important to us, we can experience a great joy. So, hold on to the people you love. Accept them for who they are and forgive them when they commit mistakes.
Never repress emotions
Emotions are your minds natural way to release negativity and come to a stable state. You have the right to express your honest emotions, which when repressed, are going to cause resentment and negative state of mind. Cry when you feel like crying! Express your anger in a tolerable way when you someone provokes you. Negative emotions kept inside can bubble up overtime without a vent and cause you to live in a constant state of unhappiness.
Live for yourself
Most of us live in our heads! We worry about what others think about us and our actions. We are in constant state of need to impress other people. This creates negative state of mind. So, why not stop caring about what others think? Of course, this is easier said than done because we are conditioned to care what others think from childhood. But by consciously living from moment to moment, you can make the effort to give yourself more importance than other people in your life.
Commune with nature
Living closed off from nature is not a natural state of being. If you live in a city, you should try to wakeup early and take a morning walk. It can be a very peaceful experience to watch the sunrise and take in a breath of fresh air. Communion with nature invigorates not only the body, but also the mind. It brings you mental and physical well being.
Cultivating positive habits to be happy is lifetime process. There is no magic potion that will make experience happiness in an instant. However, there are a few simple proven techniques that you can apply everyday to start changing your life in less than 5 minutes!
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