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Lying to your children means that you are simplifying a difficult-to-understand material for children’s interests. The word children should not be taken literally but including anyone in the process of learning , regardless of age. Because life is difficult to understand without experience ,parents tend to be simple, concise or simply wrong . but in away to make the lesson more understandable. Giving the child a statement that prepared with the lie is false but which nevertheless leads the child’s mind toward a more accurate explanation. Some people say that it’s not lying , it’s parenting . But these people actually don’t know the consequences of lying . In the private sphere of the home thins like death, illness, and divorce come to mind . Terrorist attacks, horrific accidents and natural disasters are in the public sphere which means they are on the news 24-7. People can’t keep on over children because that will affects them in a negative way more than the positive way .the more you know that someone is not telling you the truth the less trustworthy they are. They’re just telling you stuff you want to hear, and you won’t listen to them anymore. Lying over children not only affects them regarding psychological and healthy issues but also affects children’s behavior as well , regardless to the reason of lying.
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There are many occasions when parents lie over their children in each family. For example, if the child is crying and his parent are embarrassing , his mother often tells him “if you do not stop crying the police will come to make sure that you behave.” . Another occasion related to death. for example , a favorite uncle has just died and the child is told that he has become a star to watch over the child . by making an interview with mothers one of them said “Getting the kids to brush their teeth and understand the importance of brushing habits has always been a battle in our home,” she told me. When the dentist decided to describe cavities to my kids as ‘sugar bugs,’ I took this ‘white lie’ and ran with it. Now, my children are convinced that they have bugs in their mouths that get bigger every time they eat sugar. I explained that toothpaste is the only thing that makes the ‘sugar bugs’ shrink, and if you do not shrink the bugs twice per day, they get big enough to eat your teeth. Not true, but it serves its purpose for the time being ” . Let us say a child has a fear or insecurity. You need to do your best, as a parent, to make your child feel secure . That way he can grow up to be an independent person . So, that might mean telling a young child a small ‘exaggerated truth,’ like saying you have an extra safe house and extra strong locks at night if he is afraid. If a child did something wrong and did not tell the truth his parent will say ” If you tell me the truth , you will not be in trouble” . Almost every parent has told their child this lie. Yes, maybe telling the truth will get you in less trouble than if you do not tell the truth . But you are still getting in trouble, no matter what. When kids get old enough to figure this out, they become pretty consummate liars themselves. To make our kids eat vegetables , We tell our kids all sorts of untruths to get them to eat their vegetables, fruits, and other stuff. Like ” Eating your spinach will make you grow up big and athletic ” . One of the classics is that eating spinach will make you grow up to be a big . Unfortunately, most children are smart enough to figure out that this one’s not true, no matter how often and how you tell them that . In an attempt to have some quiet, you might tell your children their favorite show was canceled or just is not on television because it was abolished , that the cable is out, or that the satellite dish is crushed.
There are many reasons why parents lie to their children. It is common for parents to try strategies , including lying , to gain compliance in the house , to protect the children and to benefits the parents themselves . Parents come up with creative tales to shape a child’s behaviors and emotions. For instance , lying to keep a child from crying when you head out for dinner. And to protect the child from scary worries , such as lying to a child about a murder in the news. Children sometimes behave in ways that are woozy or harmful to their interests. If you ask adults why they lie to children, the most common reason they give is to protect them. And children do need protection. The environment we have to create for a newborn child will be quite unlike the streets of a big city. Because small children are horrified by death ,They want to feel safe, and lying is the ultimate solution. Most parents lie just to keep their kids from being prematurely pushed from their comfort zones. That’s a good reason. After all, information that we give our children should be appropriate to their age so that it can be understood and processed.
What are the effects of lying over children and what are the solutions? Parents often lie on the spur of the moment, and they don’t think about what they’re saying and how it will affect their child,” Heyman told LiveScience . She added, “I think parents should figure it out in advance what their general beliefs are so when it comes to the situation you’re working with your beliefs rather than what pops into your head at the moment. There are many effects result from lying over children . Lack of trust is a result of lying. For example, ask your child how he would feel if his big brother or sister promised to play with her over and over, but never did it. If your child is old enough to speak these feelings, he may say something like “I will stop asking because older siblings are never going to play with me.” Explain that when someone lies, the person being lied to stops trusting the person who tell the lie. Tell your child that if he wants his friends and loved ones to trust him, he has to tell the truth. Experts believe that children learn to lie by observing their parents do it ,that they become practiced in the art of deception by imitating Mom and Dad . And parents sometimes encourage children to tell lies. For example, ” Grandma Suzy will send some ugly wool socks or an itchy sweater, and parents will ask their children to say the item is pretty”. As one study concluded, children “may learn to lie in the same way as they learn to speak . Children adapt fast. By lying to your children you increase the chance of them becoming liars as well. When people tell a bold and blatant lie, they typically become nervous and restless . Their heart rate speeds up. Their body temperature increases. But when telling white lies, they usually do not feel any suffering at all . Telling lies to your children will help them remain in their beloved and fantasy worlds instead of confronting them with cruel reality. Children love fantasies and they do not want them to be destroyed. Not being honest benefits you as a mom or dad. You can relax and wait for your children to grow older to discuss compassionate subjects as conception, death or even easy things like the non-existence of Santa Claus . You will feel bad about lying to your children yourself. You want to develop a healthy relationship to your children and lying will not help you doing this. We take it for granted that children and their parents just get along. But this is not always the case, sometimes very little lies may destroy the relationship forever. Newborns want a sense of trust . Older children learn their parents are trustworthy when they are treated with honesty. If it is used constantly, lying may be preventing learning opportunities for the child.
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To solve the effects , there are many solutions . first of all, Reward your kid when he does not lie to you , even if the honest would get him in trouble. For instance, if he breaks a valuable dish as a result of running in the house that you have asked him not to do, hug him and tell him you are proud of him for telling the truth before managing the apt punishment. Second, Lead by example when teaching your kids not to lie. Keep your promises to your kids , even when the promises are about something cheap. If your kids hear you telling another adult you will do something, stay true to your word. This gives a clear message that lying is not suitable way to communicate. Third, children’s interpretations of the motives behind the lies their parents tell can also lead them to forgive their parents. We have to teach our children two rules ; tell them truth so you will be trusted and do not hurt people’s feelings because you must be good to others.
The final thing is that it is not good to lie over children. The reason is that trust is the motive of all human relationships. So to tell your kids the truth, there rules about truth and kids . Truth must be assuaged with compassion. For example , “How awful that the tsunami killed so many people. I am very sad.” . So that the child learns that emotion is agreeable to express. The truth must be appropriate to the age level so it is accessible to the child. The truth must be followed by reassurance . For example, “Terrible things can happen but we don’t have tsunamis here.” or “Mommy and I will do everything in our power to keep you safe always!” . How people feel about honesty varies from culture to culture. In Japan it is so important to preserve social harmony that it is required that one avoid telling the truth if it would hurt someone’s feelings. Western parents teach their children that any act of lying is bad  .While parents may not agree on what is a lie and when it is appropriate, I do agree that anything done with our children’s interest is right . It is not inactive parenting or taking the easy road , it is doing what feels right for you and your kid. Parents who believe that lying to their kids controls them are either lying to themselves or they do not recognize the consequences of lying. I think kids trust their parents until they learn not to trust them anymore. That can only happen if you lie to them and they find out. Why do you think people don’t have trust issues???
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