As if a switch had turned off in Winstons mind, he helplessly wrote Down with Big Brother in large capital letters, filling half the page in his diary. Anything against Big Brother could never be concealed forever. Even if Winston refrained from writing it, [it] made no difference", because he had already committed thoughtcrime and would be caught sooner or later (19). This act, another crime against the government, shows Winston's acknowledgement of the harsh rules Big brother applies to the citizens. Writing these words in his diary depicts his true thoughts toward the government. He creates his own identity against his country by doing this.
Unlike the other citizens of Oceania, Winston questions the authority of Big Brother. He realized here that the government brainwashed everyone, and that many things they came up with were never truly logical. Winston felt their force "battering against your brain, frightening you out of your beliefs, persuading you, almost, to deny the evidence of your senses", and grasped what Big Brother was able to do. Winston questioned if Big Brother was able to control everyone's mind to believe sayings completely separate from common sense (82). Winston's independence branches from his following thought- he knew he was right and the Party was wrong. He put courage in himself to defend the truth, no matter what the government says to prove him wrong. "Two plus two [makes] four", and he should always have the freedom to say it (83).
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A girl that Winston had been suspicious about bumped into him intentionally and gave him a note. Winston was almost certain that she was part of the Thought Police, and now believed the note was a threat from the government. But he still had many ideas about what the note would actually mean. Deciding to open the note, "though he knew very well the danger of showing too much interest", he read the note twice to confirm that the words "I love you" were permanently inked on that paper (110). This left Winston shocked, feeling uneasy because he barely knew the girl. New thoughts circled in his mind about this girl, leaving him troubled that the Thought Police may find out. Opening the note shows that Winston can make decisions on his own as well as his bravery to hide secrets from the Thought Police.
With Winston's new partner in crime, he is able to intensify his outrage towards Big Brother. He committed an act that "was a blow struck against the party", with no pure love or lust (129). The sexual encounter was just another violation that would anger the government. Winston comprehended that the simple desire to do this with Julia could break the Party up. This was another step proceeding to his individuality because the Party views this action with much aversion. And although no purity or goodness was done, it would displease many, adding more tension between the followers of Big Brother and Winston.
Winston was never fond of his wife because they shared so many differences between each other. His wife, Katherine, would swallow any information the government gave- whether they were true or not. This left Winston uneasy every time he was with his wife. If she was smart enough to figure out that his opinions were completely unconventional, she would've immediately denounced him to the Thought Police. All of this led Winston to a day when he and his wife were alone together. He thought about killing her, but never did. Reflecting back on the day, "I would have, if I'd been the same person that I am now", comprehending how much resentment he has now for anyone who favored the Party, even if it was his wife (137).
Winston knew no matter what he did, he would be caught sooner or later by the Thought Police, so he continued to rebel against the Party. When he found the bedroom above Mr.Charrington's shop, Winston understood that he had to keep it safe and hidden from the Thought Police. He then thought about what the room would be used for, and decided it would be his love affair room, one that he'd share with Julia. The room was perfect and secure, and with no telescreens in sight, he had "privacyâ€¦ a very valuable thing [that] needed to be concealed at all costs" (140). Using this room was the biggest risk Winston would face, but it showed his deepest passion to defend himself and his beliefs. Using this room depicts Winston's growth of new independence and separating himself from others.
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When Winston and Julia both agreed to meet at O'Brien's place, they already faced severe dangers. But neither of them realized the risk that came from their honesty to O'Brien. Winston and Julia agreed they would commit to "anything which is likely to cause demoralization and weaken the power of the Party", which by no doubt, consenting to this would cause severe punishment (176). This shows their fearlessness to speak out about their feelings toward the Party. Winston develops a false sense of hope here that he would be able to fight and succeed against the government with O'Brien by his side.
As a rebel, Winston was already forced to perform many tough tasks in order to achieve his goal- to cheat and destroy the Party. Successfully obtaining the book from O'Brien, he began to read the book in Mr.Charrington's shop. Everything the book contained showed Winston's ideas in words. But not only did he enjoy the book, he "appreciated the fact that he was reading, in comfort and safety", with no telescreen in sight (189). Reading the book gave Winston new insight, further helping him to understand the truth behind the Party. This gave Winston more assurance in himself and his opinion. If he had never read this book, his thoughts would have differed towards the end of the novel.
Winston, even after being caught, continued to stand for his beliefs. O'Brien forced Winston to reflect back on all of his previous actions. Even after knowing all of the pain he must endure, Winston stuck to what he knew was right. He comprehended that even if "the Party says that it is not four but five, then he still must say four" (257). Understanding the agony involved with staying true to his own judgment characterizes himself and his ability to defend his differences from the Party. His independence is all that he longs for because he knows that everyone has the right to think for themselves.
Winston fights for as long as he can in order to get his ideas across to the Party. Even though it was inevitable that he would fail, he tries one last time to defend his beliefs. Winston's "true feelings toward Big Brother" was still full of hatred (292). O'Brien understands and pits him through a final test, which he fails to comply with. But Winston always tried his hardest to stand for his own independence, unlike everyone else in is community. Even though he didn't succeed, he suffered through much difficulty to just preserve and defend everyone's right to think and speak what they feel. Knowing that he would end up like everyone else in the end, because the Party always succeeded, he wanted a final word for freedom before accepting the rules of Big Brother.