Improvement In Interpersonal Relationships English Literature Essay

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In order to have an improvement in interpersonal relationships, we as a society have to have a better understanding of diversity. In the sociocultural perspective learning is a process where tools for thinking are used in order to shape an individual, how we act and speak. As stated in our text, social behaviors are driven by social class differences, fads, cultural issues, to name a few. Norms of societies and cultures differ and can bring people together as well as tear people apart. It used to be if someone had tattoos, they were in a gang or music, now getting a tattoo is considered cool and many people are getting them to show who they really are. People used to look down on others that inked their body but it is widely accepted from most. Certain jobs are fine with a tattoo as long as it is covered. What society considers "normal" and appropriate change over time, just as it did with tattoos. It will continue to change and pave the way for many other fads to come into play. Also, here in America where everyone is free, we judge constantly. I think that we judge out of not knowing and understanding where others come from. Cultures have a different set of customs and norms and although some may see it as weird and different, it is how they love their life and how those before them lived as well. I think it is extremely important to have a better understanding of multicultural issues in order to accept others and their views. We may not like it but should be respectful of differences in others. Diversity should be taught in schools so that children have knowledge of how different cultures live among us. I think that if it is taught in school, their may be lesser aggression towards those other cultures when out in the real world. Children in society learn by example. If their parents raise them to hate a certain group, chances are they will without fully knowing why. When my daughter was in third grade, and the Presidential election was taking place, they were asking the children who they would like to see become President, because my husband and I are Obama supporters, she went by that and she also knew various things about Obama to say she liked him as well. To make a long story short, we live in an area that does not excel in diversity, so she was "influenced" to change her stance which she refused. She came home upset because her teacher and children said things to her about her views and I was livid. I explained to her that she should always stand true to what she believes in no matter what people say and that you do not back down because of persuasion. I was furious at her age that her teachers would " suggest" a different view that they thought to be more appropriate. My point is, in order for people to make a difference, diversity has to be taught in schools. We are Caucasian and my daughter's hero right now is Rosa Parks. She asks all the time for me to take her to Alabama to Rosa Parks museum( we are in Pittsburgh), and people give her a hard time including family to change her mind and pick a hero she can relate to. I told her she can relate to her as a woman and that color does not matter. In the end I am proud of the way I raise my daughter and that we do not teach hate because someone is different or has a different opinion than we do. I also would like her to have knowledge of other cultures through coursework other than what I teach her or what she sees on television, newspaper, etc. it should be mandatory to teach other learning's to the children so that one day they can decide what is best for them and what kind of person they want to be through informative reading and learning.

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Around the world customs are very different. In Russia, they way they learn is very different from America, for instance, children are required to go to nursery school until age three where they then attend kindergarten until age seven. After kindergarten, they go until ninth grade where we attend until grade twelve. After ninth grade in Russia, they attend a secondary school learning to be technicians, farm workers or industry work, if after maintaining good grades, they may test to enter into college(http://library.thinkquest.org). In India, men do not touch women in public unless they are married. Also young, unmarried women wear what is called chudidars , consisting of pants and a long matching dress which comes about up to the knees, whereas married women wear saris. Boys and girls also attend separate schools. There are so many different customs and beliefs around the world as well as in America. I f we had a better understanding of other customs, we may not be so scared of what we are unaware of.

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The evolutionary perspective conceives that we, the brain and human nervous system are shaped by natural selection process and that we human beings are living organisms that have come about by the evolutionary process. Evolution shows that men look for young fertile women, giving them a committed relationship and access to sexual relations while women want stability. We look for people(unconsciously) for someone to have children with and keep the human race moving along as well as our family. We may look for someone with blue eyes, tall, thin, short etc to mate with so that our children are born with those genes as well. In earlier days, men looked for women that were fertile and could conceive their offspring. Women who were better suited to have children and marry would be the ones who survived and reproduced, which then passed those genes on to their children, making way for the next generation to do the same.

Although a transgender, we now have a man that has given birth three times over the past view years and changing perspectives on conceiving. Also women are having children without men and therefore they do not need to be in a relationship or be married in order to do so. We still look for someone to share great genes with whether a women goes to a sperm bank or finds a person to share a life with, we still look for intelligence, looks, eye color, hair color, size, shape and all different attributes that we are hoping to pass down to our children and so on. While we vary across cultures in many aspects, the goal is the same as far as mating is concerned.

In the Social Learning Perspective is based on rewards and punishments. Boys are taught to be tough, not cry while girls are more emotional and wear dresses. If you are in a household that everyone smokes and drinks, what are the chances you do the same thing? Also, I am a vegetarian and even though my family and friends are not, I choose to not eat meat. When I eat a healthy meal, I feel better when going to the movies or an event than if I would sit down and eat a giant steak and mashed potatoes. I am rewarded by my healthy mean as well as feeling great that an animal did not get killed because of me. One less animal is killed because I choose to be a vegetarian. In abusive relationships, when you grow up in a family that suffers from abuse, the mother gets beaten by the father everyday, having a child possibly a son, chances are they will also grow up to do the same thing to their wife because they may see it as acceptable. That is all they have ever known and even though they may feel its wrong, they may still end up being the exact same way as their father. I grew up with a sister that used drugs on a daily basis and all of her friends as well. They babysat me and used drugs around me often. I saw my sister in and out of jail, grounded, thrown out of the house and yet nothing stopped her. My parents although they are great people, when I was little, I remember getting up and getting myself ready for school because they were still out drinking from the night before. My parents held jobs and my dad is a retired police man, but they were heavy daily drinkers and often drunk. I would be afraid to go to sleep because they would be so drunk and have a cigarette lit and pass out with it burning. I would stay awake to make sure the house did not burn down because of them. Everyone thought that I would end up the same way because of my environment, but I have never touched a drug in my life. I saw what it did to my sister and never wanted to be that way. I hear often that you are a product of your environment and that is true to a degree. You see people living in the projects and selling drugs because that is all they know. They feel as though they cannot get out to do anything with themselves.

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Our text stated that children who play violent video games can rewards violent thoughts and impulses desensitizing normal neuropsychological reactions to seeing other people suffer(p. 340). The social learning theory shows that people learn behaviors by observing them. If I go to school and feel as though I do not fit in, I may dye my hair or change how I dress, therefor increasing my chances of being accepted by that group, I am rewarded by the group accepting me. Changing and adapting to what you see is the best result for acceptance by observing the students, thus getting me to fit in was a reward in itself. When I was a preschool aid, I often saw kids mimic behavior of other kids in order to be praised. They would draw pictures of one student that was often praised and rewarded by compliments, in hopes that they too would be complimented. As a third party, I saw that it was happening and praised the child for what they were doing(drawing, coloring, etc) to make them feel better about themselves. People learn a ton of information by observing people. In psychology, we observe people all of the time and therefor can learn a great deal from that. In a classroom, if children who may not be as great in a subject, observe other students that are studying hard and getting a reward( good grade, parents happy, etc), then they may be inclined to also study hard to reach those goals, which in return shapes their behavior. Also this can be a punishable effect as well. My daughter always was talking back. She is a great kid, smart ,funny , witty, intelligent, friendly and sweet, but she has a huge problem with having to have the last word. My husband and I have done everything to try and bring her to a level that satisfied us with regards to backtalk. Finally I have just had enough. We went through this when she was younger with tantrums, but now it is the back talk. She is not mean, does not say mean things, but she just does not know when to keep her mouth closed resulting in fights between her and I , my husband and her and my husband and I. We devised a strategy that in order for her to have the things she loves(TV, iPod, DSI, etc) her attitude would have to change. Before I used to give in and give her things back to her after a bit, but no more. If she sasses me, I warn her once and then if she does it again (which she usually does) I take something off of her longer and longer each time. Recently she had her computer taken off of her for two weeks and she could not stand it. She was being so nice and not sassing me thinking I would give it back but I stuck to it. I told her that in the future, I would permanently take it from her if she continued her smart mouth. So rewards and punishments work both ways. We often observe people in a manner that we enjoy as well. If someone is always smiling and waving and chit chatting with people, they usually get the same actions back. Why wouldn't we want to feel good and have people talk and smile back at us?

The Social Cognitive Perspective shows that different people choose different environments and that the environment you choose also helps shape who you are. If you expect someone to cheating on you, you may find someone and cheat on them creating that behavior you expected. Or if you think someone is upset with you, you may ignore and avoid them, thus also creating the expected behavior. In this perspective, we choose what we listen to, what we watch on television, and who we are friends with. We tend to stereotype and judge people by what we think is culturally acceptable. Women are supposed to be nurturing and motherly where as men are typically considered to be aggressive and abrasive, possibly unemotional. When a women is aggressive or non-motherly material, she is grouped, labeled and may be called derogatory names for being that way. We are called feminist when we disagree with societies views on how we should act, dress, speak and live our lives. Women were considered different if they were not married or if we worked full-time in a position other than nurse or secretary. It depends also on how we interpret things and what views we have. In order to get along as a society, we have to be culturally respectful to establish social relationships with people. There has to be a better understanding of how we relate to one another and what we want out of life, what kind of friends we want to surround ourselves with and it starts with knowledge of differences or what we view to be different. We have to maintain relationships and adapt to what we feel is better suited for us. I am not prejudice but some of my friends are, and even though I will never respect why they are that way, I choose to never ever have a conversation with them regarding racism, I will continue to have a relationship with them. The point being, not everyone will share your views on life, love and people and you have to adapt and surround yourself with those you want to be friends with. There are so many diverse people in the world and if you quit talking to everyone that did not view the world as you do, you would be a lonely person.