My mother told me my uncle had been in a car accident, he was in critical conditions and she didn't think he would make it through the night. I stared at her wide eyed not wanting to believe a word coming out of her mouth. My forehead crinkled in confusion not knowing what to believe. Silence filled the car the whole way to the hospital. We started to get out of the car; I almost had to peel myself off as if I had been glued to the seat. We walked into the parking lot, I looked around terrified, not knowing what to expect. Entering the hospital made me feel sick immediately, the air was ice cold giving me goose bumps, sending shivers down my spine. The pungent smells of disinfectant, disease, medicine, and death filled the whole room. I looked around and noticed they had tall windows letting the sun beam inside the dark room it made the place feel a lot less gloomy and sad. I walked down the hallway besides my mother; I refused to lift my head up not wanting to have to see the patients being attended inside the rooms. I stared at the ground trying to keep up with my mom who was almost running down the halls like a maniac. All I could hear was coughing, choking, wheezing, or crying the whole way down the long hallway that seemed to be never ending. Out of breath, we walked into the waiting room and took a seat. I turned around and found my aunt, Alexandria she was looking weak and tired. She was shaking and her eyes were red they looked puffy and swollen. Tears rolled down her cheeks running down to her chin. She was sniffling, sobbing, and wailing all I could hear was her crying hysterically, it was so quiet you could even hear the sound of her tears hitting the ground. I couldn't help but feel sympathetic emotions towards her, I wanted to give her a hug or maybe even a pat on the back. I sat there feeling frozen, locked up or even chained, I couldn't move a muscle. Feeling already useless, I watched my aunt and mom hug each other comforting one another. I was expecting the worst.
They settled down and talked for the longest time asking each other questions and answering them. Thirty minutes had passed and still no news from the doctors, they decided to head on down to the cafeteria wanting to get things off there mind. The minute we entered the cafeteria I noticed the strong aroma of the food being made everything smelt scrumptious, delicious, and pleasant. They both had a cup of coffee while I sat there finishing up a plate of Mac & Cheese. The cafeteria was loud, sounds buzzing everywhere, constant slamming of plates on the tables, women standing or sitting continuously gossiping. I was down to the last few
pieces of food on my plate, I picked at them not wanting to eat anymore. I was tired of sitting around and waiting to hear any news on my uncle's conditions, I just wanted to make sure he was safe and wouldn't be leaving us this soon. I walked on over to the table where they had just finished there coffee, they stood up walking back over to the waiting room.
Memories and thoughts started flowing through my mind, what if my uncle dies? What will my aunt do without him? How will their three daughters feel knowing their dad died? I knew we had to stay strong and be there for the family. My thoughts were cut short, and I was interrupted by the doctor walking over to my aunt. He started talking to her and began to explain the conditions he was in. She stood frozen body unmoving, her mouth slightly open, the color draining away from her face as he spoke. I could tell she tried to open her mouth and speak, no words would come out, and placing a hand on her head. Her eyes widened but said nothing staring blankly at the cold hard tile. My mom and she were talking, I couldn't hear much of the things they were saying but I knew he wasn't dead..yet. My aunt had been told that my uncle was probably not going to make it and she should inform the other family members. I didn't believe it; I was in denial for the longest time.
We were allowed to go inside and see him after a while, my aunt wanted to be the first to see him. My mom simply nodded not wanting to argue or disagree with her. I was in the state of anxiety I wanted to go inside the room and see my uncle. I wanted this all to be a dream, I wanted to wake up and pretend none of this ever happened and realize it was all just a nightmare or a terrible dream, only to find myself in a dark room where I can't see to tell where I am. I could hear my heart pounding wanting to burst out of my chest. I felt pain and couldn't stop myself from crying, all I could do was burry my head in my hands letting tears stream down my face. I sat there quietly,
hoping to comfort myself hoping everything would be alright. My mom stayed quiet and looked the other way looking out the window not wanting to break down the way I had just a moment ago. Although I was crying like an infant I felt no shame or embarrassment, I cried with a good reason.
Hours went by and my mother and I decided it be best if we went home, it was late and I was exhausted. There was no point in staying; they wouldn't let me enter the room anyways. I took a deep, long, heavy sigh and said my goodbyes to my aunt, I hugged her wanting to understand the way she was probably feeling right now all I wanted was to help her. Leaving the hospital was possibly the hardest thing ever. I'm admittedly not a very emotional kind of person. The memories flashed right before my eyes, making me remember the laughter and joy I once shared with my uncle but were all quickly forgotten; these memories have given me the gift of my own tears. They have made me see the pain and joy and sorrow of our crazy human lives, only these memories can claim a place in my life.
I woke up the next morning to something different, every morning I would wake up to birds chirping or making sounds as if I was listening to an orchestra on Broadway. The sun would always greet me and shine warm rays of sunlight across the big blue sky. This morning it was rather gloomy, the total opposite of other days. A blanket of darkness covered the sky. My mother knocked on the door lightly; you could hear the door creak as she opened it up slowly. You could almost see an aura of grey forming around her body. You could tell her eyes were red and puffy from crying, I already knew what was coming. "Your uncle passed away a few hours ago, I just got off the phone with your aunt." Closing the door behind her she left, leaving me all alone once again. I felt a heavy weight fall onto my shoulders; it felt like my heart had just been ripped out. A single tear had rolled down my cheek. It wasn't fair. It just didn't feel right.