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Self-Confidence can vaguely be described as the ability of a person to have faith in his or her abilities and competence. Possessing self-confidence can give you the wings to flutter and develops a high level of passion, hope and empathy in the individual. It gives you the belief that you can confront the world and pave a path for yourself that will lead you to your dreams and aspirations. This describes exactly why building self-confidence is vital to you and how essential self-confidence is to your personality. Courage and Self Confidence go hand in hand. Courage, in the present context, refers to the capacity of being able to follow your heart despite the opposition or difficulties involved. Fear is the principal adversary of self-confidence and fulfilment. With courage, you overcome all your limitations and fears to follow your achieved targets. This inevitably increases the possibility of your success. Self Confidence and Courage give you the power to write your own destiny.
In order to develop this sense of belief in yourself, you need to be optimistic and positive. Besides this, environment that you reside in and the people you interact with the most must also be positive. No matter how positive you may be, if you are surrounded by pessimistic people, you will constantly be surrounded by negative thoughts, which negatively influences your mind and soul. Therefore, you must remain in the company of idealistic and optimistic people. While an idealist close his or her eyes to the bad things in the world, the pessimist does exactly the opposite. He closes his or her eyes to all the good things in the world. It is beneficial to be aware about the potential dangers you may face, but these thoughts must not be so strong that they overpower your willingness to overcome these difficulties.
In an attempt to build self confidence, it is necessary to be aware of one’s own value. Introspect yourself to discover your hidden qualities. The more you discover your hidden qualities the more you improve your self confidence. Know your value and feel proud and honoured to be the person you are. Think of the milestones of your life and your previous successes to boost up your moral. Be focused on your mission and believe that you can do it. Negative thoughts and feelings are the enemy of self confidence. Don’t involve yourself in workplace gossip as this is an unproductive activity, which not only wastes your time but also furnishes too much consideration to irrelevant topics. It is difficult to get away from this habit to tackle initially but with time you will realize that it certainly works towards smoothing your broken confidence. Besides this, integrity is also an indispensable facet of self confidence building. Be sound and honest and never compromise on your integrity. It is these moments of weakness and regrets that haunt you later in life and shatters you confidence in yourself. A simple principle that you may follow in life is to refrain from doing things that you are dubious about. You are likely to regret these decisions in the future.
To build courage or restore your lost confidence try to spend leisure time with friends, family and dear ones. They will make you feel protected and will stand with you in every decision of yours. This will certainly lift your confidence and make you feel good about your life. However, be cautious of virtual friends and bogus people. If you are passing through the chaos in your relationship, try to talk over the disputes with your loved ones. You are your biggest critic, and if there is one person on this planet whom you are truly answerable to and have to prove yourself to, that one person is you alone. When you solve problems and disputes on your own, you tell yourself “See! I’m capable to handling any situation in life.” No strategy or methodology can better this in boosting your moral.
It is worth mentioning here that this task is a colossal and tedious one. Therefore, we decided to present a systematic and step by step approach to building self confidence and courage.
2.1 Taking the First Step
The most significant phase of this process of building confidence is to plan and take action on the same. Wondering and pondering on an issue will only make you feel inferior. This section provides you ways to make the whole process of taking action, smooth.
The first of the three suggested ways is to ‘Think Less and Do More’. This will bail you out of over-intuition, and you can simply go and do whatever you like. This is one of the best methodologies that I have considered so far for initiating more movement, in light of the fact that it puts you in a state of enthusiasm, and you actually look forward to the task you wish to do without worrying about the supposed wrong things that may happen to you in the process. Besides this, it allows you to be spontaneous and comfortable. If you fall in the category of people who like to think before acting on any issue, you can consider taking a couple of deep breaths before you take the plunge.
Secondly, you must lighten up a bit. Most people have a self imposed restriction on them which makes them feel that prevents them from taking an initiative quickly and at once. They believe that it is a whopping, troublesome and startling decision. In this process of confidence building, you might face some negative situation. However, it is crucial to comprehend that it is a process of development, and there will be as many negatives as there are positives. You have to focus on your destination and not on the path that leads you there. In order to maintain your, it is essential to unwind and relax. This will lighten you up and help you in dealing with the situation in a better and effective way. With a lighter state of psyche, your errands appears lighter and you can swiftly and energetically towards your goals. Initiation isn’t something you can do per force and is a particularly instinctive thing.
2.2 Face yourself
The key to building self confidence is to do things that you fear the most. When you fear something, you, in actuality, have a mental block that you might not be able to do that thing in the desired manner. Therefore, fear is nothing but an escape act. There is nothing in this world that cannot be achieved and no fear that cannot be conquered. A push or a start is all that you need to conquer your fears. The most dreadful fear that most of us have is the fear of failing. All other fears and phobias stem from this. Success and failure are two sides of the same coin, and if you have a wish to taste success; you must also have the heart to fail. It is only after you fail that you realize the real meaning of success.
The result is not relevant, what is decisive is the fact that you must try doing everything. If you don’t try, you would never know the result. If you fail the first time, try again, and if you fail the subsequent times, be stubborn enough to say “I cannot lose at this!” Keep trying until you succeed. Success is a real high point, and it is this moment of success that gives you a reassurance that you can survive everything in life and irrespective of the situation, you will always sail through. Overcoming your fears makes you stronger, firmer and confident.
There are several other techniques that have been developed by psychologists, which can help you in facing your fears better. One of these techniques is talking to the mirror. However, it is crucial for each of us to comprehend that the thrust to succeed must come from within you. All these techniques might help you in generating a level of positivity, but this is a more superficial level. As stated in the previous chapter, this book or any other resource can help you in building self confidence and courage only if you want to do it.
The first step towards countering your fears is to be inquisitive or inquiring. Whenever you are caught in a dreaded situation, it is a complete shutdown of you mind. You make a superficial boundary between you and other people or things. Inquisitiveness opens up the world to you. Secondly, you must realize that fear is heavily dependent upon unhelpful translation. As humans, we are on a constant search of plans and on the basis of a couple of encounters; we are quick to classify a situation as negative. This classification is also a result of miscommunication.
2.3 Getting Ready
Just like self confidence is the key to success, readiness is the key to fearlessness. Whenever you know nothing of what you are going to do, it is natural to be apprehensive about the situation. Apprehensiveness leads to both positive and negative thoughts that stem from your initial feelings about the situation. Consider, for example, a situation where you are just minutes away from a serious business presentation. You are likely to get anxious and nervous about the situation. An array of positive and negative thoughts will cross your mind. You may have positive thoughts like “I know my facts right. There is certainly nothing that can go wrong!” Or “I know I’m a good presenter. A presentation is the last thing that can go bad with me.” On the other hand, you may also have negative thoughts like “What if I fumble in the first line of my presentation script?” Or “What if I’m not able to answer any of the questions asked by my colleagues.” It is perfectly normal to be worried or nervous. However, too much of nervousness has the power to ruin any situation.
When you are stationed at a point where you are totally unaware of the upcoming sequence of events, it is pointless to worry yourself with concerns that may not even exist. Things that normally would not have even occurred will now happen, not because they were supposed to happen, but because you instigated their occurrence. All your worries will unintentionally initiate a counteraction in your mind that will hamper the spontaneity of your reaction to the situation and ‘you’ will make all your concerns come true.
Getting ready by practising different techniques could be an enormous assist here. For instance, when you say an address over and over again, it is easier for your brain to memorize it. Likewise, if you practice calming techniques, you can train your mind to remain calm and get ready to face the upcoming situation. These calming techniques include breathing exercises that help in reducing anxiety and panic. These techniques can help you in becoming more agreeable and sure.
2.4 Learn to Accept Failure
Certainty cannot be promised from consistently being right. However, it does stem from not fearing to be wrong. The crux of the matter is that you need to face your situation, good or bad, favorable or unfavourable. You have to understand that nobody will hang you for taking one wrong decision or failing once in a while. We are all humans and making mistakes is a part of growing up. Every wrong decision you take will give you something that not a million successes are capable of giving you. Experience is the priceless possession that comes with failure. Moreover, failure is not as awful as it may seem. It may take the glory of success away from you, but it does give you some things to hold onto forever. These things are –
2.4.1 A Lesson for a Lifetime
Instead of viewing failure as something loathsome you can view it as a learning. Whenever standing amidst a situation of failure, it is time for some serious introspection. You must always ask yourself questions like:
What could have turned the outcome in my favour?
What is it that went against me?
To summarize the whole process, you simply have to analyze the situation from all perspectives and derive learning out of the same.
2.4.2 Makes you Stronger
Anything that will not kill you will certainly make you a better person. Every time you fail to do a thing correctly, you get a point to add in ‘What not to do?’ list. Moreover, every time you fail and try again, you give yourself a reassurance that failing is not the end of everything, and you can have hope. Miracles happen to people who keep their hopes alive, even if it is hoping against hope. This leads you to a phase of desensitization. You will begin to realize that now failure does not affect you as much as it did earlier. It is worth mentioning here that no matter how much we focus on the fact that failure must not affect you, we don’t mean to state that failure must not affect you at all. Excess of everything is not good for your personality. It must affect you but not to the degree that it instigates a complete breakdown of your hopes and dreams upon occurrence.
2.4.3 Paves Way for Future Success
Every time you fail you increase the probability of success in your next attempt. This fact can be proved mathematically using the theory of probability. If there are hundred ways of doing one thing and you have tried and failed ninety nine times, then the next time you try will be your moment of success. Moreover, strategy and tactics are an essential component of dealing with a situation. Learning is not situation specific, and with experience you learn to predict moves of your opponents and make effective strategies.
2.5 Self Awareness and Self Assurance
Exploring your hidden talents and competency is an indispensable facet of building self confidence and courage. Challenge yourself, face your fears and do things that are most dreadful to you. You will see a new face of your personality in the process. If you have some apparent fears, confront yourself on reasons for those fears and tell yourself that it isn’t that huge of a bargain. You will develop to become stronger and better. When you understand yourself better in terms of your skill set and what precisely you expect from your life, you will have more conviction in yourself and what you can do. Confusion leads to confrontation, and when you, yourself, are unsure about your abilities and goals, you will not be able to channelize your energies towards a common goal. Therefore, self awareness is central to self assurance.
Self Confidence and having a focussed approach in life can do wonders to your ability of handling any situation. It can have a gigantic effect in your self-confidence levels depending on how comfortably you move along in your way to effective self management. Therefore, you must plan to become more agreeable and certain.
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