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Advice for raising children
At different ages children are exposed to different situation; it may or may not lead them to negative emotions. Therefore, parents are always concerned about how to treat their children's negative emotions, and about how to build intimacy with their children. Recently, I have read four different articles which talk about developing strong bond between parents and children.
In the articles, “Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child,” by John Gottman, “Our Approach to Discipline,” by William Sears and Martha Sears, “The Childhood Roots Of Adult Happiness,” by Edward Hallowell, “How to Behave so Your Children Will, too,” by Salv Severe focuse on building healthy relationship between children and parents.
Gottman, Hallowell, and Sears, emphasis the important of communication in parenting. Parenting can be very difficult, but these tips that authors offer may help you become closer with your child. Gottman claims that empathy strength the parent children bond. Parents must acknowledge their own negative emotions before they try to understand their children's emotions. When you talk to your kids about their problems, you show them that you are their ally when it comforts and supports your child. Parents want their children to be more independent and solve their own problem. Sometimes parents tend to neglect their children's emotion, just to teach them lesson; however it causes children to build negative emotions. Thus, it is essential to have an understanding between parents and children to enrich strong relationship. Sears suggests discipline is effective when parents connect with their children (pg 90). The parents are connected to their children; the more likely the children are to accept the parent's discipline. Hallowell asserts that when parents love and accept their children, the parents and children develop connectedness (pg 97). Strong connectedness at school and home will make child less likely to become depressed, suicidal or drug users. Children are happier and more confident when they feel connected. Severe insists that parents are most effective with discipline when they cooperate with their children rather than trying to control them (pg 108). If parents let their children make decision, children learn independent. As with Sears strong parent child bond ensures the effectiveness of discipline. In addition, sears claims that communication between children reduces misbehavior it is really important how you interpret your child's problem and listen to it. Once children have experienced their own feeling, they are capable of understanding others. When parent's child relationship is good, children accept more of their parents modeling. If parents want their children to respect others, they have to respect their children too. Parents who communication well with their children, and enable their children to communication well with others.
Sears and Hallowell believe that Children's self-esteem influences their social behavior and learning. Hallowell asserts that motivations, positive attitudes, and behaviors influence children to have high self-esteem (pg 98). Children who have high self-esteem are mostly likely to response optimistically. They also manage difficult situation, and less negative emotions. Sears considers that children who act positively and tend to have high self-image. They also behave in wise manner. In addition, children with low self-esteem will not able to experience anything new; thus, they are less likely to succeed in school.
Severe asserts parents should teach their children to make responsible decisions (pg 109).
If the children are having hard time finding the solutions, parents should ask them for the possible solutions they can come up with it. There are usually more than one solution but allow your children to come up with the solutions. It will help them to understand the consequences and improve their ability to consciously make wise decisions.
Sears and Gottman insist parents to set up limits on their children to maintain discipline and behavior. Sears claims that setting up limits on children's behavior, the children are less likely to cross their limits (pg 92). When setting limits, you will sometimes need to alter to the more cruel disciplinary approach of punishment. If parents set harsh limits, their children will learn positive discipline. It helps them develop into responsible and dependable adults. Gottman believes that parents often set limits for children's misbehavior and it also makes life more successful for your child in the long run.
Sever believes that children often learn how to behave from their parent's behavior (pg 106). Children's home environment influenced on their school performance therefore, if children have grown up in environment where it is happy, they tend have positive influence. The qualities the children received from their parents are being polite, supportive, caring, generous and compassionate. Parents are their most profound inspiration.
Parenting style can be present various ways throughout children's life. Since children learn most of their behavior from their parents, these techniques greatly helpful for parents to raise children.