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This story gives us a very devastating picture of the society yet we should accept that infertility is the core issue and the facts associated always leads to a dilemma. This story is narrated by my husband's friend in which he stated that: "I was 50 years old whereas I married to a girl who was just 17. This happens because her father was employed at my workplace that was extremely deprived of monetary perspectives and had four daughters unmarried. One day he came with a proposal to get married with her grown-up daughter and I accepted it. We were living merrily, as time passes I experienced few changes in her behaviour that she is ignoring me and instantaneously becomes annoyed and even frustrated. So I asked her about the problem. She replied that she is not pleased with me mentally and physically since we are married for five years and we have no child. I tried my best to persuade her that we together are living contentedly, subsequently more or less is no need for a child but she mistreated me and went to a consultant who advised her to go for some lab evaluations. She did the entire investigation and test was normal then she insisted me to go for lab test, however I refused her improvising male dominancy. Next day I went away for a month to attend an annual conference, where I decided to go for the lab investigations, there I came to know that I am infertile and incapable of producing child. The moment I was awfully dishearten and concerned to communicate all the matter to my wife. While coming back to home I was thinking that whether I should tell her about my medical reports or not? However reaching home I shocked to hear that my wife is pregnant. Then I realized that during my long visits away from the home my wife betrothed in extra marital relations with another person. It was in reality an excruciating situation for me to confess my wife with that child. I didn't told her that I am infertile because I was having a dread in my mind that if I would enlighten her then I will lost my self esteem in family and society.
I analysed from the above story that the lady had suffered from psychological gratification due to early marriage. Why she didn't realize that the man is much older than her at the time of marriage? She was not mentally equipped for marriage rather she was strained by her father. What were the reasons which escort her to get marry? Poverty and social pressures accompany her to marry in early stage of life. When did she distinguish that she is not mentally satisfied with her husband? Infertility after five years of marriage was the root of foremost disappointment. How did she knob these stresses in her life? She adopted the erroneous way by building extra marital relationship with other person.
According to (Axinn 1994) "Poor families may regard a young girl as an economic burden and her marriage as a necessary survival strategy for her family. Also, early marriage provides protection for their daughter from the danger of sexual assault or more generally offers the care of male guardian." UNICEF says "half of all girls in some countries are married by the age of 18 because of poverty, tradition and family pressure." "In Bangladesh the demographic and health survey (DHS) of 1996-1997 reported that 5% of 10-14 years old were married. In the Indian state of Rajasthan a 1993 survey of 5000 women revealed that 56% married before the age of 15 and of these, 15% were married before they were 10. In part of West Africa, marriage at seven or eight is not uncommon. The extreme cases are seen in Bangladesh and Afghanistan, were 54% and 51% of girls respectively are married by age 18." (Somorset 2000).
Early marriages also effects on woman's health. It's crucial to educate parents regarding early marriages of women's to avert them from health related hazards.
The second analysis of the story is the male infertility. Why that man didn't go for the lab investigations although his wife insisted him? The male was predetermined with his dominancy that he can produce child at any age. Why was the test given devoid of telling his wife? Because he had terror of infertility. Why did he conceal the reality from his wife? Because of the dread for loss of eminence in society.
According to (Candra et al. 2005) "Infertility is defined as the inability to conceive despite trying for a year and its affects approximately 12% of the reproductive age population, and roughly one-third of these cases can be attributed to a male factor." "The differences that exist between man and women concerning infertility can some times cause mutual problems between the couples." (Rayka 2001). Farquhar (1991) makes the point that "the diagnosis of male factor infertility would be a terrible shock for any chinese man; he would be ashamed to face his parents and ancestors."
As male inefrtility effects on psychological health consequently it is important to educate them. Infertility is not a illness it is a natural phenomenon which can be treated through consultation.
The third issue which is analysed from the exceeding story is the extra marital relationship of the woman. Why the woman get occupied in extramarital relationship with other person? And why extramarital affairs are so widespread? The woman was not pleased with her husband mentally and physically she was expecting a child to complete her family. What was the interior issue which lead her to make a new relationship? Due to comparable mental and physical aptitude and indulgement. When she realized that she must have a baby? Even she was stigmatized that why as a woman she is not conceiving a baby. How she hides the truth from her husband? Whether she should enlighten the genuine story to her husband or not?
"It is evident that the reasons given by respondents for engaging in extramarital sex are not the same but the important consideration for indulging in extramarital sex is procreation and continuty of the family name. It is generally believed among the african population that every adult male must have hildren irrespective of whether he is biologically or physically capable of having them or not. The womens primary roles are constructed as that of a wife and a mother, and her ability to bear children is a fullfilment of these roles. Childlessnes is found to result in preceive role failure with social and emotional consequences." (Sameul 2006).
Cameron barnes Stated that: "Extra marital affairs often fulfill real emotional needs; needs that are universal and of such strengh and durability as to make millions of married people willing to put their reputations, relationships and personal fortunes at risk."
Owing to extramarital relationships couples could go through emotional trauma, distress, anxiety, campaigning and experience shock or incredulity due to the partners relationship out of marriage. This troubled can be reduced through proper communication between the couples.
I would like to recomment that this story describes the multifaceted dimensions of a marital relationship. It is a horizon in which one factor leads to other. As a community health nurse I would endorse in the community settings that early marriage of a woman can effect on woman's health and every human being have its own equal right to get married at an optimum age, it has its own disadvantages like immature decision making regarding partner selection, separation and marital fights. I will also educate parents and young people about the implications specially in the rural communities were there is unawareness among the peoples. And also educate sex education in schools; educates the youth on the advantages and disadvantages of early marriage; provide guidance and councellings, especially to the young married couples.
For male infertility I will persuade men's to communicate their feelings through discussions I can resolve this delima by asking following questions that How long you are trying to conceive? Have you ever consulted a doctor? These types of questions facilitate a man to verbalize his feelings. I will also advocate to start councelling and psychotherapy services in the infertility centers to reduce the psychological pressures and counter problems of infertility.
For extramarital relationships I will educate the community settings that extramarital affairs extend when one person is unsatisfied with the other whether physically or emotionally, always converse to your partner, sort whatever issue is, and bring the internal demands to be noticed by the other partner so that trust and understanding can be maintained in a marital relationship.
Society always stigmatized men's with regards to their extramarital affairs where as this story gives us a brief account of physical and psychological satisfaction of a wife towards her husband. We should always tend to focus on the factors associated, that there should be a trusting relationship maintained between husband and wife, they both are abide to maintain their trustworthy relationship.